4 min read
One of our goals as a parent is to raise a successful, mentally strong, well-rounded child. Although we have no idea what we are doing most of the time, we always work hard to support and nurture them the best we can. Each parent has a different way of raising, disciplining, and communicating with their kids. We often undergo trials and errors and see what works and what doesn't. If you question yourself, "What kind of a parent am I?" or "What type of parent do I want to be?" Do know that there are different parenting styles and we'll learn about them shortly.
Today, child psychology uses four different parenting styles: authoritative, permissive, neglectful, and authoritarian. These are based on the study of a developmental psychologist named Diana Baumrind and Stanford researchers John Martin and Eleanor Maccoby. Each parenting style directly affects your kid's behavior, how you control and influence them, and how they will respond to it.
This type of parenting is nurturing, supportive of their child's needs yet reasonable, and sets expectations. Parents try to control their kids by explaining rules, discussing the outcome, and reasoning. Parents frequently communicate with their children, ensuring that expectations are set clearly and that children understand the rules. They allow natural events to occur, such as when a child fails an exam. They will discuss what they learned from the experience and how they can avoid the same situation and move forward. The said parents also listen and consider their child's thoughts, feelings, and point of view; however, sometimes, they do not accept it.
Authoritative parenting is said to be the most beneficial to kids. Children with authoritative parents tend to be self-disciplined, self-reliant, cooperative, achievement-oriented, cheerful, and friendly.
Permissive parents are lenient and are often into a friendship role rather than parenting. They believe that kids are not meant to be controlled; instead, they should grow up being true to their nature. Communications are open, and they allow their kids to decide for themselves. They are nurturing, supportive and responsive. They do not demand much responsibility from their kids, nor setting limits and expectations. Their guidance is limited, does not check on their kid's activities, and tend to be lax. They give in to their child's pleas at the signs of early distress to avoid conflict and want their kids to be happy.
Children raised under permissive parenting may grow irresponsible, lack independence, rebellious, and aggressive. They may be good at socializing and have high self-confidence, but they can also be selfish and demanding.
This is also referred to as the neglectful parent. The parents are usually unavailable, unresponsive, and some are rejective. They have a low response and low demands on their kids; they set no rules and are emotionally distant. Some parents may have chosen to parent this way, but in some cases, parents are just overwhelmed by other things, facing their issues leading to this kind of parenting, or they do not know what to do.
Parents allow their kids to do what they want, possibly due to a lack of care or knowledge on how to raise kids. Children raised in this kind of parenting have low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and social skills. They may also seek the attention of others who can provide the love and care they need.
This type of parenting enforces strict rules but does not consider the child's point of view or feelings. Most parents choose this style because of their culture, race, or ethical backgrounds. Parents want to be in control, do not negotiate, and are firm with their regulations. They are the disciplinarian type, and their communication with their kids is only "one way," no give and take. Parents can be less nurturing, and the reasons behind the rules are not explained. Their expectations are high with no flexibility.
This type of parenting needs balance. Boundaries and limits are good, but kids also need to be nurtured with love and respect to make it work. The effects of authoritarian parenting may lead to the child being aggressive, unable to control anger, cannot to make their own decision or think for themselves. They can also lack social skills and grow shy.
Now we know what type of parenting we do, it is vital to apply what we have learned and eliminate the ways that is not beneficial to our child's well-being. To be a better parent, we must consider the effects of our actions, have a good relationship with our kids, and provide the love and care they need. These factors will shape them to become better individuals as they grow into adulthood. Raising kids is genuinely not easy; we will face challenges most times, but the love and the upbringing we teach them matters, especially if we see them grow to be the person we want them to be.
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